what a day it has been. it started out really slow. it's funny how people can really be different when they're angry or really pissed off. so much so it just doesn't seem like them. anyways. I'm too lazy with the details for today. sorry to my dearest fan joyce tan huh. currently not in the mood to write anything happy about today. but anyway.

went for national day observance ceremony practice. it was really stupid. from what I heard the choir literally waited there. and we went to practice which was only walking in n positions that's about it -.-. retardedness to the fullest coupled with an extremely bitchy emcee. anyways after that headed down for choir exco meeting.

discussed important issues. fortunately it was still quite high spirited with all the jokes flying around. and I got shot real badly by my other half, mark -.-. he's like my krptonite man. he leaves me speechless. BIG TIME.

but anyway. I've been thinking so much recently. of everything. God, you, choir and myself. sometimes I wonder if I fight too much to hold on to something that wouldn't be there anymore. only God himself can make it happen again. but no matter the reason. I will still be here should you have nobody to turn. my dear choir, sigh. life's changing. the battle's beginning. the real challenge is there for us to conquer. will we be able to hold out? will all of you be with the exco in order to achieve greater things that we exco are planning for all of you. are you with us? I hope so. sigh. for myself. sometimes I'd rather inflict all the pain for myself than to others. this way everyone will not be hurt. I'd rather be the one to be hurt than anyone else to be.

dear God, everyday I still pray for the same things to happen. I pray that You'd grant them and use me as your vessel. amen.

here's a poem again.

Never Seems Like Me

Sorrys; I could never keep,
love; is what I pray,
myself is what I keep,
in you I'd for another to be.

Nothing more of what less that be,
in the ever shore, of an ocean to be.
Come what; may it be,
to what I sing, of what may be...

Stars to show,
Hearts to shine,
Eludes to ever,
Every to mine is mind,
Never leave;
Always on my mind...